Lies my toddler has told me...

"Daddy spit on the floor.  Right there (pointing to an area).  He spit there two times."

"I am going to work.  You have to stay here!"

"I NEED juice."

Me: What did you do at school today?  Sully:  I went swimming.

"I DON'T NEED A NAP!"

"I am Batman."

"I am on the Badgers."

Me:  Did you eat some vegetables?  Sully: Yeah I ate some fruit.

"I helped."

"I want something to eat."

"Daddy pooped on the floor."

Me:  Are you pooping?  Sully:  No (as his face turns red and he braces himself against the coffee table)

"I can't eat that, it's too spicy/hot."

"I gotta go potty."

"Daddy sings better."