4K

 I had like 15 different blog posts all written in my head for today.  But I can't commit to any of them.  In a way, it has been less emotional that I thought it would be.  Waiting for the bus and the actual act of seeing him board the bus left me happy and excited for him, not very sad.  But then when I go to write here, I feel like maple syrup inside.

After last week, I am ready for this week to be MUCH better in the parenting department.  Last week was the big teacher meet and greet.  I hurried out of work and picked up the kids from daycare and rushed home.  I placed Sydney in my nephew's capable hands and quickly grabbed the bag of supplies that I so carefully purchased from the supply list that was sent home from the school, picking out the perfect sizes, colors and quantities of things.  I sped to the school feeling excited and a little nervous for my little 4 year old.

Only when we got there, there were only 2 cars in the parking lot.  I thought it would be a lot busier than that for back to school night but as quick as I could, I unbuckled Sully and grabbed the forms that I carefully filled out and bag full of supplies and we headed for the door.  It was locked.  This had to be a mistake, we walked to a side door and that was also locked.  It was then that I looked at the paperwork and saw the teacher meet and greet was the day before.  Moisture accumulated in my eyes as I ushered Sully back to the car.  "Geez, I guess we really didn't need to hurry, did we Mom?"  Sully teased.  I buckled him back into the seat and shut his door.  I walked to the back of my car and broke down, crying hysterically.  I messed up the first teacher meet and greet I was dealt.  GAH!  It was crushing to me!  I am supposed to be his mother.  Which means I am supposed to get these this right, damn it!

You see, I still remember a time when I didn't know if I would get the privilege of attending back to school events for my kids.  I didn't know if I would ever be able to have a child.  And when I think back to that time, back to school days, supply lists and backpacks were right there at the top of the list  of things I could not wait to experience.

So it was incredibly upsetting to me.  But not Sully.  Mostly he just thought I was so ridiculous for making him hurry so much when there was nothing to see or do.  It just rolled right off of his tiny shoulders but not before a small morsel of fear crept in when he whispered, "what if my teacher if mean?"  And then he was over it.  And it barely even phased him when we sent him to bike day the next day with flat tires on his bike.  I told the hubs to make sure the training wheels were tight but neither one of us even thought about checking the tires for air!  As a kid, I would have been mortified by this.  I would have tried to physically turn my body inside out so no one would see me.   But not Sully.  He just said, "Yeah, it was pretty hard to pedal my bike today.  It made me tired!"

 And so when I saw him board the bus today, I guess I knew he would do great.

He has so much more confidence and resilience than I did at that age (I think).  I am in awe of these qualities in him and I am so thankful he has them.  He may be physically small (which he hates) but he sure makes up for it in personality and spirit and heart.

 Sully to his daycare buddy, "Lets hold hands."  Heart melted.

But here we are, we made it despite any of our short comings, screw ups, meltdowns and struggles.  We made it.  He made it.  And I made it.

I can't wait to go pick him up from daycare and ask him all about it.  I am sure he will have a lot to tell me, he always does:)

4

Dear Sullivan,

Hey Bud.  Holy cow, can you believe we made it to 4?  At this very second 4 years ago, I was in the middle of a 27 hour labor.  I could not wait to see you and meet you.



See??  Super excited!!

Little did I know I would still need to wait another 18 hours!  But its ok.  Because look what I was rewarded with....



My little mister.  All mine.

And what a guy you have grown into...

Living life to the fullest.  Every hour of every day!  Questioning everything there is to question and then circling back around to re-question and make sure my answer is still the same.  Exhausting, I tell you!  Reading books and watching movies with you are quite the chore:)

Right now, you are in to helping me in the kitchen by putting together "gredients" for making dinners and baking, watching movies that are "kind of scary and have a hero that saves the day", being an amazing big brother, teasing ("cheesing") your parents by telling them that you want the "vikings or bears" to win, pointing out when it is foggy and that fog is just low clouds, using the word "butt" as often as possible and jumping (like all the time).

You helped me make your school treat last night.  It was so fun:)  I put dabs of frosting on the brownies and you placed the M&Ms on them to make them look like stop lights.

 Your hands are so big!

Super proud:)  And then you informed me that you do not like M&Ms.

Anyway, keep being you.  Keep learning new things that blow your mind.  Keep catching me of guard.  Keep asking questions.  Keep jumping.  Keep growing.

Love you with all my heart.

Mama

He's growing

Dear Sullivan,

Over the past two days, I swear you are maturing right before my eyes.  Just 3 days ago, I could not wait until 3 was over and you were 4.  Three has been tough for all of us.

Sullivan:  "Want to know what my favorite food is?  CANDY!!"

Sullivan: "Hey mom!  Get a picture of me eating my ring pop!"

From your aversion to foods that are wet or sticky to your poop on the potty strike, we almost didn't make it.  Our patience ran incredibly thin as your continual need challenge us to our limits increased.

 But then the last 2 days happened.

Suddenly, you are being beyond sweet and kind and you are listening.

Suddenly, you are pooping on the potty!!!!  It only took your dad telling you that he was going to teach Sydney how to poop on the potty before you and whoever did it first was going to get the big boy bike.

You won.

So proud.

Suddenly, you are drawing pictures of guys with hair and noses and ears and arms with one finger and calling them your "best friend."

Suddenly, you are using words like enormous and beautiful and comfortable.

Suddenly, you are eating Spaghetti-Os and Hamburger Helper.

And you got this big brother thing down pat.

I didn't think it was possible, but your already high voice somehow becomes 6 octaves higher when you talk to her.  If she is crying you comfort her by saying, "Don't be sad!" in the highest, sweetest voice my ears ever heard.

If I had only one word to describe you, it would be life.  You are life.  You live it with everything you have and feel it with every emotion possible.  There is continuous discussion about everything in life.  Why?  Who?  Where? and Why? again.  It is completely exhausting.  But at the same time, allows me to see life through your eyes.  And that has been pretty amazing.

I know you are still going to be 3 tomorrow.  I know we are not in the clear yet.  But I just wanted to say thank you for these days.  Mama really needed them:)

Love, 

Mama

Toilet Talk

We are so ready for Sully's strike against pooping on the potty to be over. So we spend a lot of time in the bathroom. Today, I am visiting the doctor after I suffered a bug bite. Here is my interaction with Doogie...

From the mouth of babes.

Just a little taste of some daily convos with this guy....

"What do you pee out of (as he smiles and giggles)?"

"The clock is in the poop.  Yeah, it is."

"I hit my face on the toilet!" (I don't even want to know how that happens)

Sul: "Hey, do you remember what my butt looks like?"
Me: "Um, is it brown?"
Sul: "Ha, NO ITS GREEN!"

Sul: "Fricken Mommy!"
Me: "Hey!  Dont say that!"
Sul: "Fricken Daddy!"

One night last week he climbed into my bed at 1:30 am.  He leaned over and whispered in my ear, "I like your room.  I like your bed.  I like your hair.  I like your make up.  (Pause)  Do you like my bed?"  To which I whispered, "I like your room.  I like your bed.  I like your clothes."  (Pause)  To which he responded, "WOW!"

"I turned into magic.  Its a guy."

"Does chocolate make me big and strong?"

"Are fruit snacks real food?"

At the WIAA boys state basketball game last friday, "OH!!  Did you hear them say my name?  They did!"  (Talking about the man on the loud speaker, whom did not say is name or anything close to it)

"Dragons have wieners.  All of them do."

 Pay no attention to that dirty glass!

"Does batman poop on the potty?"

"I have poop skids in my pull up."

I underestimated how much we would be talking about poop, pee, wieners and vaginas on a daily basis with a 3 year old.  At least it is entertaining.  This kid cracks me up!  And here I was worried he wouldn't get as much attention with a new baby around.  He sure knows how to get one's attention!

Coming soon, my spring vignette and a kitchen project!  Yes, posts other than those that focus on my kids or pregnancy!

Just can't help myself...

I LOVE bath pics!  They are just the cutest!  And I finally got some of Syd...

It has only been just over 3 years since Sul was this age but it is amazing how you forget about these days once they have passed.  I have had to go back and look at pics from Sully to refresh my memory.  Sully was bigger than Sydney.  She is just such a tiny thing.  She is still in newborn diapers at almost 6 weeks old!

For fun, here are some comparisons...

There are moments when I see flashes of Sully in Sydney but they are few.  I thought Sully always looked like me on most days.  And I think that Sydney definitely takes after the hubs most days and I see very little of me in her.  It is funny to hear other people say she looks like me because I just don't see it.  I can't wait to see her grow and learn more about her.  So far, she is more chill than her brother, not as high maintenance (thank God!).  She is a bit more go with the flow.  I am having so much fun getting to know her:) We love our baby!

"Santa I want a dinosaur toy" and more Poppy

Tonight was Sully's school/daycare Christmas program.  It was his first year actually participating and it was adorable.  I have some crappy video of it on my iPhone and may try to get it on the blog but it was not the best angle or quality.  You may just have to take my word that it was so stinking cute.  After the little story and a few songs, Santa made his way into the room.  I was shocked to see my tiny son had run up to him and was first in line to sit on his lap.  It kills me just thinking about it!  Mr Fearless.

 Yes, his nose is red since he was one of the many Rudolphs in the program;)

Santa, "What would you like for Christmas?"

Sully, "A dinosaur toy" (this kind of threw me for a loop since he already has a dinosaur but I guess he wants another one)

When the hubs asked him what he asked for from Santa, Sully was sure to tell him a dinosaur toy.....and a dragon.  I don't remember him asking for the dragon but now he has convinced himself that he has so I guess I will be going shopping this weekend.

Afterward, he needed to look outside for the reindeer and sleigh but all we could find was the tracks.  He claims to have seen "lots of Rudolphs" in the sky on our way home.  Gotta love it:)

In other holiday news, here is what Poppy has been up to....

 More acrobatics.  He is such a show-off.

 Then he started a countdown to Christmas.

And had to have Santa read him Twas the Night Before Christmas.

 Then he had a staring contest with Birdface.  At least I think that is what is going on here.  But I can't be sure.

Then he decided to show up Sully with how fast he can fill up a jar with felt balls.  I guess I owe him a trip to Dollar General.

 BTW, the jar filler for behavior modification seems to be working most of the time.  Not 100% because the kid is 3 and he has his moments but he really does "get it" and tries to model good behaviors so he can fill up his jar.

But then we found Poppy in the dinosaur's mouth this morning.  I guess the dinosaur did not think that he deserved all those balls that were in his jar.  Or he just likes Elf.

Behavior Modification

The 3's have come in like a lion and are going no where fast.  I was really hoping that Poppy could help us out a bit here, but no such luck.  In order to save what sanity I have left, I was desperate to cut down the amount of whining, tantrums and negotiating I was doing on a daily basis.  Near the end of a particular trying day, I texted my friend Kaiti that I was just not sure how much more 3 year old drama I could handle.  She responded with solutions, which I wasn't expecting.  I was just expecting some fellow mom camaradarie, like "yeah, damn kids are ruling our lives!!"  But actual solutions are much better!

One of the solutions was to try "Bucket Fillers."  I had never heard of this so naturally, she had to explain it to me.  The basic concept is that you fill a bucket (or other container) with objects (balls, papers with compliments, rocks, whatever) when the child exhibits a behavior that is favorable.  Conversely, you remove an object when the child exhibits an unfavorable behavior.  When the "bucket" is full, the child gets a reward.  I had nothing to lose, so we are on day 3 of this.

Here is our bucket (small mason jar) and filler (felt balls).

Why did I decide on a jar with felt balls?  Because I already had them and we needed to start this IMMEDIATELY!!

So far he has a few balls in his jar from peeing on the potty, having a good day at Grandma's house today and listening to his parents.  A few more were added tonight after a very nice dinner helper effort and easy bedtime routine without crying. 

We are trying to get this first jar filled up fairly quickly to get him his reward as to give him more incentive to keep filling up the jar.  His reward is going to the Dollar General (his favorite place ever) and picking out a toy.  The toy can even be above the $5 shelf!!  Exciting!!!