No, nothing major or earth shattering happened. No one close to me died or was given a cancer diagnosis. I did not lose my job. My car did not break down. We did not have a plumbing disaster.
I just felt like the pressure and tension has been building all week. So that by today, I am carrying the world on my back or as a giant fireball in my chest.
Of course, I am not. I know this. But some days just feel that way. I don't care who you are, you just have days that drive you batty.
I have learned a little something about myself these past 32 years. I NEED to let it out. I can't bottle it up or I will surely burst. I can work myself up pretty good and I have learned that if I slowly let it out, in little waves, I won't burst. Like letting just a little air out of a balloon. So I can breathe again. And start to realize I don't have to do it all myself or be everything I always expect myself to be.
So today at work, I started sending out the waves. A text here (Kaiti), an email there, a facebook update. Just a little release of the tension that was building in my chest. They were short, not sweet and to the point. Of course, one lucky recipient was the hubs. I think the email said something along the lines of "today is not good. I am super stressed and annoyed. I need a break from work. Warning."
His response, "Great..."
Maybe not the response you would be expecting to make you feel better. But for some reason, it made my load lighter, more manageable. Doable.
Since he knew how I was feeling when I got home, we could avoid the whole how was your day routine. There was space and understanding. And there was this...
A six pack of it waiting just for me.
He took over the parenting duties. Playing, feeding, night time routine.
He was the parent I could not be today.
And the hubs I really needed.
My better half.