Monday, November 14, 2011

Stay-at-home-mom Mondays

Mondays are my stay-at-home-mom days.  As the rest of the working world starts their work week, I get to pad around the house hang out with my little Mister (and catch up with whatever housework is left over from the weekend).  I get a little taste of what it would be like to be home with him everyday. 

Most Mondays are great.  We play and eat and nap and everything falls into place.  On those days, the housework may or may not get finished, we may or may not get the grocery shopping done if it was not done over the weekend, we may or may not have a cute photoshoot.  Whatever we do or don't do, it is ok and we just live and enjoy the day. 

However, some Mondays are incredibly difficult.  There may be endless whining, temper tantrums, he is unable to play independently, bored and he needs to be on my hip at all times.  It is on these days that I look forward to Tuesday when I can go to work.  I feel terrible about that but I am trying to cut myself some slack and not beat myself up about it.  Not all days are supposed to be easy and simple.  It makes the days that are easy and simple so much more enjoyable. 

I have learned much about myself and it is obvious I would not survive the full time stay-at-home-mom job.  This was made painfully clear to me during my maternity leave.  I don't have the creativity, patience or discipline for it.  I had a lot of anxiety about this in the beginning of my return to work.  Was there something wrong with me that I was ok with going back to work?  Was I a terrible mother because I did not cry after leaving him that first morning?  I truly struggled with these feelings of guilt of not feeling what I thought I should have been feeling. 

Luckily, time and experience have allowed these feelings to fade and I was able to gain confidence in my abilities as a mother.  I am now able to not feel so guilty about everything, but it did take awhile.

Whatever Monday we have, come Thursday, I am already anticipating my three day stretch of Sully 24/7.  I know I am incredibly lucky to have my one stay-at-home-mom day and I wouldn't change it for anything...except maybe 2 stay-at-home-mom days per week...maybe?

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